So far I've avoided demands for apologies to focus on apologies actually made. But this one is too odd and colorful to pass up. Officials of the Church of England are demanding an apology from Sony Corporation for what the good reverends say are offensive graphics in Sony's PlayStation3 video game Resistance: Fall of Man. And that's not all they want. First, some background from Wikipedia:

Resistance: Fall of Man is a science fiction / first-person shooter video game for the Playstation 3 developed by Insomniac Games, creators of popular series' such as the Spyro the Dragon and Ratchet & Clank. The game follows in the footsteps of Nathan Hale as he and the human resistance forces attempt to drive out of Britain a mysterious alien invasion.

Science-fiction military-themed shooting game. Got it. Why does the Church of England care?

The Church of England is considering legal action against entertainment firm Sony for featuring Manchester Cathedral in a violent PlayStation video game.

The Church says Sony did not obtain permission to use the interior in the war game Resistance: Fall of Man.

The game, which has sold more than one million copies, shows a virtual shoot-out in the cathedral's nave in which hundreds of enemies are killed. ("Cathedral row over video war game," BBC)

Okay ... I feel pretty certain no actual cathedrals were harmed in the game, just pixels. But let's run with it. Sony, what do you have to say for yourself?

The company said in a statement: "Sony Computer Entertainment Europe is aware of the concerns expressed by the Bishop of Manchester and the cathedral authorities... and we naturally take the concerns very seriously.

"Resistance: Fall of Man is a fantasy science fiction game and is not based on reality.

"We believe we have sought and received all permissions necessary for the creation of the game." (BBC)

Sounds reasonable. Church of England, have you been tippling the communion wine or what?

The Bishop of Manchester, the Right Reverend Nigel McCulloch, described the decision to feature the city's cathedral as "highly irresponsible" - especially in the light of Manchester's history of gun crime.

"It is well known that Manchester has a gun crime problem," he said.

"For a global manufacturer to re-create one of our great cathedrals with photo-realistic quality and then encourage people to have guns battles in the building is beyond belief and highly irresponsible.

First of all, I thought the United Kingdom banned handguns a few years ago. Not working out so well, huh?

The Dean of Manchester Cathedral, the Very Reverend Rogers Govender, added the game was "undermining" the work of the church.

"We are shocked to see a place of learning, prayer and heritage being presented to the youth market as a location where guns can be fired."

Yes ... never mind that a large proportion of video gamers these days are not part of the youth market, I find it unlikely that young players of this game will thereby be influenced to trot down to Manchester Cathedral to fire some guns. Particularly given that 99.9% of them don't live in the UK and probably couldn't find Manchester on a map.

So what do you want, Right Reverend?

The cathedral's David Marshall said Church leaders would meet on Monday to draft a letter and discuss what other action to take.

He said the letter would make four demands:

• An apology for using the cathedral
• Withdrawal of the game, or modification of the section of the game to remove the cathedral interior
• Sony to make a substantial donation from the games' profits allowing the cathedral's education department to target more effectively those aged 18 to 30
• Sony to support other groups in Manchester fighting against gun crime.

("Cathedral to demand Sony apology," BBC)

This is where it gets interesting. The Church of England has issued a list of demands. And they don't just want an apology — they want a payoff! This is practically a ransom note they're drafting. Sony to donate game profist to the cathedral's education department? Sony to support local anti-gun groups?

As the Brits might say — cheeky. Collection plate must be a bit light these days.

And, naturally, the politicians are piling on, along with the usual do-gooders:

Community groups and MPs have expressed support for the Church's stance against the game, which has sold more than one million copies so far. (BBC)

Sony is sticking with the "It's not real" defense for now:

For its part Sony Computer Entertainment Europe pointed out that the enemies in the game are not human and that the game takes place in an alternate universe. "It is game-created footage, it is not video or photography," said spokesman David Wilson of the Cathedral in the game. "It is entertainment, like Doctor Who or any other science fiction. It is not based on reality at all. ("Church of England threatens to sue Sony," GameDailyBiz)

BUT they could still cave: Sony said it would contact the cathedral authorities on Monday "to understand their concerns in more detail". (BBC)

This one bears watching. When the inevitable apology comes, it will be interesting to see just how far Sony give in to the good Bishop's demands.

PS: This does all seem a bit forward for the Church of England, though, doesn't it? I wonder where they got the nerve?

Defending his position on a BBC radio show, "the bishop claimed that had the fictional setting for the alien versus human battle taken place in a mosque, "questions would have been asked in the House (of Commons)" and the game would have been withdrawn."

Yes, if only the Church of England would behave more like bomb-loving Muslim extremists, people wouldn't go around setting small portions imaginary games in fictional digitized representations of cathedrals...