Sometimes a lot can depend on an apology. For the geographically challenged, the Punjab region is in northern India — and also Pakistan. Which country actually owns the area is one of many sources of conflict between the two countries.

The current situation has nothing to do with that, however. Rather, it concerns whether the apology of Baba Gurmeet Singh Ram Rahim to the Akal Takht for dressing up like Guru Gobind Singh is acceptable enough to bring an end to the Sikh social boycott of the Dera Sacha Sauda sect and related violence.

I'm not making this up. It's a crisis in the Punjab! Granted, it doesn't take much to cause a crisis in the Punjab. Richard Gere kissing someone can cause a crisis in the Punjab. They are many excitable people in the Punjab. Keep that in mind. If you're ever in the Punjab.

I will admit up front that I don't quite understand all the nuances here. But I'll explain this as best I understand it. There is a sect in the Punjab called Dera Sacha Sauda.  We're gonna call that the DSS. Their leader is a guy named Baba Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh. I'm sure friends call him something less wordy. Let's say Ram Rahim Singh for short. Anyway, a few weeks back he appeared in a newspaper ad for the DSS dressed up like Guru Gobind Singh.

Oh no, he didn't!

Yes, he did. Who, you might ask, is Guru Gobind Singh? Clearly, you are as ignorant of the Sikh religion as I was before I read the Wikipedia article.

This article sums up the problem: "The sect's leader, Gurmit Ram Raheem Singh, appeared in an newspaper advert as Guru Gobind Singh, one of 10 revered saints in the religion, and was pictured offering holy water to the faithful. The advert upset the main Sikh religious governing body, the Akal Takht, and triggered violent protests in the Punjab earlier this month that left one dead and scores injured."

Apparently, you do not dress up like Guru Gobind Singh. Or, presumably, any of the other 9 Sikh gurus. I'm crossing Sikh guru off my list of Halloween options. You should too.

So, the Sikhs of the Punjab, and there are many, were upset at the apparent DSS insult to their religion. Violent protest and clashes ensued. Nobody throws a crisis like the Punjab:

Tens of thousands of Sikhs and DSS supporters have been gathering in various places in Punjab and Haryana.

Some Sikhs have been armed with swords and bricks. They are reported to be surrounding a DSS campus near Salabetpura in the Punjab.

Many DSS supporters have gathered in Sirsa in Haryana, where the sect has its headquarters, to ward off any attack by Sikhs. ("India tensions over Sikh protests",BBC News).

Even the national government got into the act: "The central government has sent two battalions of the Rapid Action Force, a paramilitary force comprising commandoes, to Sirsa."

Local leaders were not impressed. Only two battalions? You can't throw a decent crisis with two battalions. It's like central government isn't even trying.

"Punjab's Chief Minister, Parkash Singh Badal, has asked the federal government to despatch 50 companies of paramilitary forces to ensure peace."

That's more like it. Meanwhile, the Sikh clergy did their part to get the barbecue roaring by calling for a social, political and religious boycott of DSS followers. I'm not entirely sure what that means. I think it means nobody talk to them.

Could it possibly get any worse? Could the Sikh leaders possibly dial up tensions any higher than a social, political and religious boycott?

Of course they can! This is the Punjab, baby!

Take it, BBC:

"Cities and towns across the northern Indian state of Punjab are shut in response to a general strike called by the Sikh community." ("Strike by Sikhs hits Indian state," BBC News).

Where are the cops when you need them?

"Thousands of machine-gun wielding soldiers are on alert and the anti-riot Rapid Action Force personnel have marched through some of the sensitive areas."

Did anyone remember to bring the burn in effigy kit? It's just not a party without a burning effigy.

"In the state of Jammu, Sikhs have held protest demonstrations, burning effigies of the leader of the Dera Sacha Sauda (DSS) religious sect."

Oh, good. They remembered. How are the DSS followers holding up?

"Fearing possible violence by outraged Sikhs, security forces have erected barricades around the headquarters of the Dera Sacha Sauda (DSS) religious sect in Sirsa town [in the neighbouring state of Haryana].

An estimated 20,000 DSS followers live on or near the campus.

The sect also has many smaller campuses across Punjab."

This is just a suggestion, but maybe the DSS folks should stick close to their campuses until this blows over.

"Sikh leaders have demanded that all campuses where sect members live be closed within a week."

Or not. (Thank you, BBC, for that informative report). See, this is why there is no crisis like a Punjab crisis. Just when you think they've taken the tension as far as it can go without someone breaking out the high explosives, the Sikh leaders play their trump card and demand that all the DSSers get out of town.

Is there any way out of this mess? Is there anything the DSS can do to end this madness before the whole Punjab goes up in flames.

Why, yes: "Sikhs are demanding an apology from the leader of a religious sect who appeared in an advert dressed like one of the Sikh religion's most important figures."

An apology might make it all better. This being the Apology Index, you had to see that coming. Honestly, I gave it away way back in the second paragraph. And the title. Speaking of which, this post has gotten rather long, so we'll examine the apology and its consequences in Part 2 of Apology Crisis in the Punjab!

PS: If you're interested, the BBC offers some socio-political context and analysis of what led to this mess: 'What is behind Sikh protests?". No? Didn't think so.